A New York Winter's Tale - a mini-review

I never usually write book reviews, I leave that to the other excellent reviewers on Goodreads. However, every now and again a book comes along that I seem to have a difficult relationship with, and Mark Helprin's A New York Winter's Tale is one of those books. 

I first came across the book on a "what to read before the adaptation hits the cinema" list, and to be honest, I love to read book-film adaptations. After seeing the film, I made sure that Helprin's book was my next read.  Firstly, the book is really nothing like the film, they only share themes and a loose story line connection so if you adored the film and wanted to see how it read on the page, maybe you will be disappointed. The second thing I couldn't help but notice is that the book is really quite long, so if you are looking for an easy, quick read, again, it might not be for you. 

A New York Winter's Tale is a book that needs time to be dedicated to it and is for those who are willing to give a book time to unfold a complicated and intricate storyline, that jumps to different periods of time where the character's lives criss cross and intertwine. It's a book for readers that truly love to read, those who want a book to challenge them and provide more than just escapism in it's purest form. Of course, there is nothing wrong with books that you can fly through and lose yourself turning each page as you easily absorb each word without consciously realising, I love those books too! 

One of the most memorable things about this book is that it is truly beautifully written, as I said, it challenged me, I found myself looking up words (miasma!) and getting lost in the descriptive passages of the city and the landscape: I felt that New York City was alive, a creature growing, evolving, and hiding many secrets in its complex and diverse streets. It was a treat to read passages so lush and creative in their language.  As beautiful as it was, it sometimes served as detrimental to the storyline itself, I got so lost in the descriptions that I forgot how it drove the story or for what purpose. 

The writing works well alongside the book's genre of magical realism. I understand that this genre is either love or hate for a lot of readers, and for me personally, I quite enjoy it but you have to suspend your disbelief. A story about the stars, people who live for hundreds of years, a mythical horse and lake people that blends with the hustle bustle of mythic New York City during the industrial era as well as a modern day version, though distinctly different from our own.

It's difficult to sum up this book in a quasi review and my main problem is that I didn't feel satisfied at the end of the 700-odd page book. I had been through a journey with these characters but I didn't feel complete at the end. Maybe this book deserves and needs a second read in order to unravel the detailed commentaries on life, love, and morals. All and all, a remarkably written piece of magical realism, but one that requires a lot of time to truly immerse yourself in the story. 

A weekend in... Zacatecas, Zacatecas.

The state of Zacatecas borders the northern highlands of Mexico and it's capital city of the same name is beautiful, colonial city.  Steeped in history and culture, Zacatecas offers a delightful insight into the importance of both art and, surprisingly, silver mining.  Two cultural aspects that seem so very far apart but live together serenely among desert-like countryside.  

We stayed at the Hotel Emporio Zacatecas, which is located in the heart of the city, just opposite the beautiful cathedral and was the perfect base for exploring the city on foot.  Once again, something that always seems to be the best way of exploring small Mexican cities, you can meander through (and up and down) the small streets which twist and turn, often leading to bustling plazas or hidden temples.  

The city has a variety of museums which display the talents of local artists as well as other historical artifacts.  The Museo Rafeal Coronel is the home to work of the Zacatecano artist which is set in the ruins of a former convent, the results are magnificent.  The location is so stunning that local girls use it for the backdrop for quinceañeras and wedding photos.  The crumbling walls are surrounded by charming gardens, made even more splendid by a cloud free blue sky.   The museum is also home to hundreds of ceremonial, festival, and death masks and gives comprehensive explanations of their history, use and craftsmanship.  

On the other end of the scale, a trip down into the Mina Eden, a former silver mine, displays the stark contrast between the demand for the precious metal and the horrendous treatment of local indigenous people who were basically enslaved to mine the silver.  Our incredibly knowledgeable guide told us that every day 1 in 3 of the workers died in the mine.  The mine originally had seven levels but now the bottom 2 (I believe) are flooded by crystal clear water, full of minerals and deathly still.  The guide informed us of all the local legends and ghost stories, gave us a peso to make a wish into the fountain, and even stole us quartz from the rock.  The Mina is also home to a nightclub/bar where you can dance away the night underneath the twinkling quartz.  A must visit destination in one of the most famous silver cities in Mexico. 

From the Mina you are able to take a cable car (teleférico) across the roofs of the city to the Cerro de la Bufa, a hill that dominates the landscape of the city.  At the top of the hill, you have amazing panoramic vistas of the colourful little houses on the steep streets and the domes of the grandiose colonial churches.  There are also statues of the Mexican revolutionaries (one of which is the grandfather of our mine tour guide!) and a quaint temple.  We then enjoyed (!) a trek down the hill back into the town, good walking shoes required but easier going down the hill than up!

Typical of Mexico, Zacatecas offers a wide range of Mexican and international cuisine, and as typical of me and my gallstones, I was very limited with what I could eat.  However, we had delicious meals that left me
feeling satisfied and pleased that I could eat more than a sandwich.  The Mykonos Cocina Mediterranea does what it says on the tin and does it very well at that.  A good selection of Mediterrean cuisine that was delicious, I had Spaghetti arrabiata, which was very tasty with a lovely kick of chilli and black pepper.  Also, amazing humous and flatbread.  We also ate in El Mercader, situated in an old market place, wonderful salads, pasta and Mexican food.  Also delicious limonada (I have made it my mission to sample limonada in each place I travel to!).

Zacatecas was a perfect, relaxing weekend away.  A small but charming city, with lots to do and plenty of opportunities to sit and soak up the Mexican atmosphere if you'd simply prefer to do that.

"There is no friend as loyal as a book"

Reading has been a massive part of my life for as long as I can remember.  Some of my most vivid childhood memories are of my Nanna helping me read and throughout my life I can pin point certain moments because of what book I was reading.  Books can offer us guidance or answers when we are feeling lost or broken, they comfort us, they pass the hours in a more engaging manner than just passively watching the television (although I do enjoy this too...) and what better feeling is there than seeing that it's 1.30 or 2am but you are so engrossed in a book that you don't want to put it down or go to sleep.  Just one more chapter...!

In this blog, I'm going to talk a little bit about 5 books that have made an impact on me or have further flamed my love for reading.

1. The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger

"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."

When people ask me what my favourite book is, I always go straight to The Catcher in the Rye.  I first read this as part of my English Literature class during my A Levels and I was going through a rough time, I was 16/17 years old, feeling a bit lost and hopeless in the world, unhappy with things that I wasn't really sure why or even how to make them right, and having to make big decisions like university.  Then we read this book in class and to be honest, and, at fear of sounding cheesy, it spoke to me.  Holden was my age, feeling a lot of the same emotions that I was and the themes are so perfect for an adolescent  (and to some extent, grown up me!): loneliness, the pains of growing up, how fake the adult world is, Holden's protective 'barrier' from the rest of the world that only serves to cause him more pain.  Holden Caulfield has become a literary hero for the thousands of people that call The Catcher in the Rye their favourite book.  Although, Holden isn't my hero as such, the vividness of the writing and the fact that the themes hit home so much caused me to think about myself and even now, reading some of the passages from the book break my heart a little that we can hurt so much and not realise or choose to ignore it.

This book heavily influenced another one of my favourite reads and coming-of-age novels, The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky.


2. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath

"I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am."

The Bell Jar was introduced to me by another keen reader who probably knows me better than I know myself.  It is a book that I will always remember as one that was there for me during an extremely difficult part of my life.  Plath's life was sad and so tragic and The Bell Jar almost autobiographical.  The Bell Jar is also a coming-of-age story but as Esther, the protagonist, gets older, she falls into depression and madness.  The book is very critical of psychiatric care and the 'treatment' they used during the 1950s is shocking.  Plath describes honestly and accurately the thoughts that run through a depressed mind, however she does it in a hauntingly beautiful and sometimes funny way.  The Bell Jar remained in mind for a long time after I read and I think that she has put down in words what you feel when you are so despairingly sad, the twisted logic,emptiness and disappointed and hurt by the world.  A beautiful, heart-wrenching emotional book.


3. The Book Thief - Markus Zusak

"Because the world does not deserve them."

The Book Thief is one that I read recently and I have never been through such a rollercoaster of emotions with one book. Set in Nazi Germany and narrated by Death, it is not a read that you get through in an evening.  It's not necessarily happy.  It broke my heart, the first book to make me cry since Marley & Me.  Books written about the First or the Second World War always drive a knife into my heart, I, like so many people, find them so harrowing.  I was really drawn to the character or narrator of Death, he struggles to understand humans, how they can be so kind and so evil at the same time.  I ask myself if we don't all struggle to understand that aspect of being a human being at some point in our lives.  The Book Thief made me laugh, cry, disgust at the actions of some humans at all the same time.  It was one of those books that I could not put down and would stay up late at night, devouring all the words in the same way the Liesel learns to read.  A sparkling story, written with so much human emotion, and one that challenges you and also for me, the way I act and how I treat people.


4.  Stardust - Neil Gaimen

"There is something about riding a unicorn, for those people who still can, which is unlike any other experience: exhilarating, and intoxicating, and fine."

I enjoy reading fantasy but I usually use it as a go-to genre for relaxing, unwinding and switching off from the rest of the world.  I read Stardust because I saw the film adaptation, and it generally goes for me, if I loved the film, I am more than likely going to love the book.  Stardust is a relatively short novel but it's magic and love story whisks me away to another realm and I would say that it was the book that got me into reading other fantasy novels.  Stardust is an entertaining modern fairytale, and is a book that I think I will go back to time and time again.



5.  The Silver Linings Playbook - Matthew Quick

"There will always be a part of me that is dirty and sloppy, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself." 

Another book that deals with mental illness as a theme.  For me, it's important to deal with mental illness because, as I have mentioned in previous blogs, it's something that has affected my life a great deal.  I love this book because it shows life with a mental illness from the viewpoint someone who is still suffering and someone who has technically 'recovered' but still has to deal with the shadow that depression casts over you, constantly threatening you.  The Silver Linings Playbook was full of passages that made me shout: "YES!  I FEEL THAT TOO!"  or put into words that disjointed thoughts that run through my head.  It also inspired me; that, like the quote above says, you can like the parts of you that are less than perfect, it's okay to be messy, sloppy, or a little bit of a fuck up. I'm not there yet but it gives me hope.  The film adaptation differs quite a lot, but boils down to pretty much the same message.  I'm all for books, films, whatever bring mental illnesses into the forefront of our mind.  It's not something to be ashamed of, we need to talk about it, we need to address it.  All in all, I love this book because it reflects real life, we don't all have happy endings, sometimes things are a lot less than perfect, but if we look for something, anything positive, it will help us survive.

Also, massive kudos to Matthew Quick, I tweeted to say how much I enjoyed the book and he replied, showing his thanks.  Kindness makes everyone smile :-)

Ajijic, Jalisco

Ajijic is a charming little town that sits upon the shores of Lake Chapala in Jalisco, Mexico. The town thrives on it's mixture of traditional Mexican culture and that of the laid back, trendy Americans who flock to the town during the winter months or have retired there. Although some usually frown upon the ever growing influence of the United States on Mexico, Ajijic maintains its charm with cobbled streets and sun kissed central plaza, and is far, far away from the commercialism of other costal tourist hotspots like Cancún or Puerto Vallarta.

It's possible to while away the hours perusing the art galleries, boutiques or simply wandering the streets, soaking up the sun. We came across Babaras Bazar whilst meandering through the different through streets, a Bazar of everything and anything, from antiques, to first edition Harry Potter books, to old kitchen appliances and material. It was a treasure trove of goodies each way you turned and cost nothing to look at all the different things you wanted, Magimixs or 19th century German chairs. Ajijic continues to please with little hideaways such as these, so pleasant for a first timer to the town! 

Breakfast at La Una. 

Another enjoyable way to explore a different place is, of course, through food!  However, since I am still ill, I have to be very careful about what and where I eat and I am always beyond thrilled when I can eat something in a restaurant.  Fortunately, Ajijic offered a wide range of eateries that are relatively gallstone-friendly.  Richie 88 is a charming cafe offering baguettes, salads, burgers and delicious Italian sodas, all of which can be enjoyed in a shaded patio.  We also had breakfast in La Una, a French-style cafe with free coffee refills with breakfast.  La Una offers continental-style breakfast (a generous portion of fresh fruit, with yoghurt, granola), eggs (of every variety!), waffles and French toast, again with a leafy green patio area.  What better way to enjoy breakfast?  It's worth paying a visit to Cafe Grano as well, extremely good Mexican coffee to revitalise you after a morning in the sun.  The ambience of the cafe was relaxed and informal, and you can buy a variety of  ethically grown coffee beans to take home if you
desire.  Ajijic also has a wide selection of restaurants of different international cuisine.  One restaurant that has had nothing but good reviews is Ajijic Tango, an Argentinian restaurant which was packed to the rafters when we were there, definitely one I want to try next time I visit Ajijic.  

Ajijic means 'the place where the water flows' in Nahuatl, an indigenous language spoken in Mexico and walking along the boardwalk of the lake allows you to take in its shear size.  A pleasant breezes cools the hot sun during the day and watching the sunset in the evening is magical.  Almost a meeting place, the boardwalk is a perfect spot to people watch, Mexican tourists chattering and soaking up the atmosphere or residents, both native and ex pat, walk their dogs or simply sit and listen to the waves lapping the shore.  Ajijic may be the most commercialised of the towns surrounding Chapala lake but don't let that put you off, it's a tranquil, yet thriving, gem that is a wonderful spot to enjoy a few days away.

Travel wish list

With a couple of upcoming trips planned, both in Mexico and to the United States (Walt Disney World and Universal studios... I can hardly contain my excitement!), I have been thinking about where else I would like to visit. I think everyone has a pretty huge travel bucket list, but a lot of mine are fuelled or inspired by films or television programmes. I have narrowed it down to five, so here goes: 

1. Nashville - I've got to admit that my interest and intrigue in this city comes from the television show, Nashville. But now, I want to go and see the home of country music and feel the passion for the genre. The city where the guys wear cowboy hats with pride and girls can rock plaid shirts with denim shorts. To be honest, I think I would fit right in... I want to visit the Grand Ole Opry and the Bluebird cafe where I can spend the night sipping a cold beer, listening to an open mic night.  For me, visiting the Tennessee City isn't just about seeing the sights, but experiencing the culture of a musical genre that I am only just getting into as well as embracing the Southern charm.  Take me there now! 

2. Iceland - I am always super envious when I see a friends photos of Iceland. I will be honest and say that I don't know too much about the Icelandic culture or language, but the beautiful landscape and the intrigue of the Northern Lights is enough to make me want to hop on a plane right now. I've heard that Iceland is a fairly expensive country to visit (please correct me if I'm wrong) but I have seen enough incredibly photographs to forgo worrying about my bank balance. My travel lust for Iceland only increased after seeing the Walter Mitty film, sweeping shots of volcanoes and a horizon so unlike any I have seen before. The film itself wasn't that great but worth a watch anyway for the travel porn. 

3. New York City - I don't think there is anything to say about New York City that hasn't been said before. The city that never sleeps is home to so many TV shows and films that I have seen that it's pretty much an iconic destination, in my books. I'd especially like to visit at Christmas time, see the rockefeller Christmas tree, snowy, cold evenings, blueberry pancakes at four in the morning... My to do list endless!

4. Neuschwanstein Castle - As a Disney fanatic, it's probably no surprise that this castle is on my list. It served as the inspiration for Sleeping Beauty's castle in Disneyland and it is truly spectacular. I have never visited Germany for more than a day and I'm currently learning German so it seems like a perfect excuse to go! 

5. Copper canyon, Chihuahua - A destination that is a little closer to my current home and a trip that I am in the process of planning - hurrah! The Copper Canyon trip involves a train ride from Los Mochis in Sinaloa to Chihuahua in the state of the same name. The landscape in this part of Mexico is striking, some parts of the canyon are deeper than the Grand Canyon in Arizona.  I haven't been to any of the northern states of Mexico so it presents a fantastic opportunity for me.  Check back for pictures in May!  

Act your shoe size, not your age.

To be honest, I've found it difficult to write a blog after my last post. It's such an important part of my life that I'm not able to put a big full stop after it all yet.  But I wanted to write another post, so here I am.

Recently, I have been fretting quite a lot about my age. I know this may sound crazy to a lot of people, after all, I'm 26 and I'm well aware that is young and hopefully, I have tons of time ahead of me to fulfill all my ambitions, hopes, and dreams. However, sometimes, I feel like I don't actually have that much time to do everything that I want to do and I am constantly comparing myself to people around me. A lot of my friends (my age and younger) have set up home or they're married or they have kids, they seem set up for life.  They are happy and responsible and stable.  And then I compare myself to them: single, living the other side of the world, racking up huge debts, no prospect of a good, stable job yet, only just graduated, when at home, living with parents and on the downhill slope to 30.  The age by which, it seems, most people have their shit together. 

The problem is, when it read it back like that, it sounds great to me.  Yes, I am single, but I am no way ready to get married yet, living the other side of the world... Well, I'm in Mexico, my second home, racking up debts that are totally worth it. No stable job to go back to because I'm deciding between a masters, pgce, or continue working abroad and I gained 'life' experience before I went to uni, working full time. I own my own house but I enjoy my parents company and I haven't exactly been in one place for a very long time these past four or five years. I always feel like I have to justify my life choices to myself to make sense of everything that I am doing.

The justification of my choices to myself, seems even to me, a bit ridiculous. Simply because I'm not sure that I would change anything. So to constantly compare myself and what I have achieved to other people is a pointless exercise. I think it's because I'm not doing any of the 'grown up' things, I still enjoy doing the same things I did when I was in my early twenties, except now, I think I do them all with a little more self assurity. 

I'm not sure when I will be ready to 'grow up' and start acting like an 'adult'. I can see myself travelling, reading, going to pop concerts, and soberly dancing the night away for the foreseeable future. Does this make me immature? Should I be going to cheese tastings and hosting garden parties just because I feel like I should be doing this? Should I stop listening to pop music and perhaps move on to something more 'mature'? Isn't it better that I do what makes me happy? 

A very important person has said to me on a number occasions, "don't worry about what you think you should be doing, do what makes you happy!" That simple sentence, thought, or idea is becoming increasingly more important and relevant to me everyday. Maybe I should make a late New Years resolution and remind myself to do what I want to do from here on out, instead of conforming to some ridiculous idea that life has set rules and deadlines. 

We all go through so much on a day to day basis, we do not need to add extra pressure to our daily lives, pressure that is completely unnecessary. So I'm going to carry on acting how I want, doing what makes me happy.  So please excuse me while I go write my Disney bucket list. 

Reflections.

On the 11th January 2011 I arrived in Mexico for the first time. I was bewildered, amazed, overwhelmed and I don't think it would have even crossed my mind that two years on, I would be back. I don't think it's unfair to say that after coming back from Mexico the first time round, my life has been challenging. To be honest though, I think that everyone's life is challenging, and it is truly a testament to human strength and determination that we get through those difficult times.

I'm going to write about one of the most difficult times of my life in this post, and it's something that I still find very difficult to talk about, so please forgive me if this post is a little incoherent or messy. 

So, between then and now I think that I have changed a lot, I'm a lot more serious now, sometimes I even would say I struggle to see the 'funny' side of some jokes or jibes. I value my family and my friends so much, they are the light in my life. I have become closed off, distant and if you catch me in the wrong mood, I shut down completely. Sometimes I miss the person that I was, but every little knock you face in life will leave a bump in your heart and although you recover, I, personally, think you hold onto a little bit of that pain... So you never forget of course, and so you can see how far you have come. 

Last year, I lost a member of my family that I was incredibly close to, we spent Christmas with him, visited at least twice a week, and someone who I know, loved me, was incredibly proud of me, and who told me I was a beautiful person. We lost this person to depression, and then, suicide. It scares me to think about the number of person who are affected by depression. So many people I know have battled, or are battling, this awful illness. It upsets me to think about the stigma that is still attached to it. It's an awful, awful thing to go through or see someone you know go through. You can't see it, it can eat away at everything you were and you think you know, until, sometimes, you are completely unrecognisable to yourself. As someone from the outside, you see someone you love or care away, retreat and disappear and you try and try to help them come back and sometimes, it just isn't enough. Or in my family members case, it was never going to be enough. He was so far into the black hole that he couldn't see the way out. Ever. 

I don't claim to be an expert, I can just talk about what I have personally been through. 

I don't even know where to begin with suicide. For us, it quickly became a case of 'when' and not 'if'. The when arrived with a haze of devastatingly painful emotions. Grief, devastation, anger, hurt, and heartbreak. It was made worse by appearing on the internet, in news articles, in the newspaper. Journalists visiting the house. Inquires. It was ... Tragic. Traumatic. Painful. Even now, there are not enough words to express it. 

And then there are the people left behind. A spouse. Family. Friends. Co workers. Acquaintances. Neighbours. All asking the same questions: why? How? I didn't realise he was that ill? How are you doing?  Often, none of these questions have answers. There are not enough tears to wash away the pain, relieve the pressure on your mind. The pain ended for my family member, but was heightened for us and still haunts us today. 

Today, I make sure I tell my family that I love them whenever I can. I talk to them practically every day, even though I am the other side of the world.  We were in the midst of dealing with depression, siucide as grief while I was applying for my position here, so I almost feel like I have travelled through two different journeys; I was so happy about coming back to Mexico and so sad at the same time.

Because of this, I feel extra lucky to be here. At times it's hard, I miss home and wish I could be there supporting my family. However, I realise life has to go on and because of everything that has happened, I realise that you have to grab every opportunity that comes along and I would never want to regret not coming here... Leaving home again again was so hard, especially so soon after everything that happened, but I am so glad to be here, so thankful to have amazing people so share this experience with, both here in Mexico and at home, and now even more determined to hold onto the things that make me happy, feel fufilled and not look back on life with regrets or sadness.  You never know what next challenge life is going to throw at you.